Kinky Injuries

So, your ever lovin' hazel-eyed Rhino was at the organic food store the other day picking up the HLDW's* "special" water and as I was lifting the 5 gallon container onto the counter I winced a bit as my rotator cuff is injured. It is enough pain to keep most men in bed (I'm thinking of certain skinny ferals with names beginning with H as I type this) but I persevere cause, well, I'm the Rhino and there is no time for whining, much less surgery.

Anyway, the patchouli scented punk behind the counter decides to crack wise and say, "All that kinky sex gettin' to you?"

I guess he thought that he was going to shock an old man. Stupid bastard. So, I thought I'd teach him a little lesson in customer service.

Rhino, "Actually, no. Not all of it causes injury."

Patchouli Scented Punk, "Ummm, well."

Rhino, "It could be from cracking the whip so much"

Patchouli Scented Punk, "Oh, um, yeah."

Rhino, "I mean, you look like a guy that knows how tough it can be to discipline a gaggle of nymphomaniac masochists hopped-up on ecstasy. You just can't beat them enough. Am I right?

Patchouli Scented Punk, "Um, OK."

Rhino, "Hey, do you have a card? There is always room for new blood and I'm sure that you would be perfect for Mistress Cruella - she loves to train noobs. You are obviously a sub. Am I right? I have an eye for these things."

Patchouli Scented Punk, "No. I don't. I mean I'm not. Ummm."

Poor bastard is speechless. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to make him carry the water out to my car so that I can torture him a bit more. But, I decide that this akin to shooting zombies in a barrel - too easy and you could get splattered - so I cut him loose.

Rhino,"That's a shame. I'm sure that you would've enjoyed it."

I wink at the Patchouli Scented Punk and leave with the water.

Carried, one-handed, with the injured arm, of course.

I am The Rhino after all and there are images to maintain.

I don't think that he'll be trying to shock anyone for awhile. I can't wait until I go back in there sometime with the HLDW and call her Mistress Cruella when he is in earshot. I hope that he pees himself. Might smell nicer than the patchouli.

It is good to be the quick thinking, unabashedly snarky Rhino.

*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife