My buddy Steve left for a jaunt to Moscow this week - he left on Tuesday.
I wrote about Steve a couple of times back in the JSpace days. He is a GREAT friend whose mutant power is the ability to make fun hurt.
Perhaps a bit of important information that I need to share... Steve has stated on several occasions that one of his life's goals is to visit a former Eastern Bloc country with the express purpose of visiting a posh club to reenact his favorite scene from the Vin Diesel masterpiece Triple XxX.
No, he doesn't want to be the Vin Diesel Character. He doesn't even want to be the main villain. No, he is a humble sort and only wants to play one part - that of The Lackey. You know, the one who says the immortal words, "Bitches come".
Did I mention that the line must be shouted in a thick Slavic accent? You know, for authenticity's sake.
I didn't? Huh.
Did I also fail to mention that he has been practicing?
For those of you that are not fans of that "once every generation" actor Vin Diesel here is a link to that pivotal scene: Bitches Come.
I'll ask you guys ... what are the odds that this man will be spending some serious quality time in Lubyanka?
Yes, he is naked under that raft. This was taken in Honduras a couple of years ago - after he ran through the house naked, scaring the kitchen and maid staff, dove into the pool and proceeded to lose 3 out of 5 rounds to the raft.
He wanted me to go. Thank Odin that I could use the job situation as an excuse to bow out.
I wonder what excuse I'll use when he starts nudging me again to go to Amsterdam with him in November where he'll be a judge for High Times magazine's Cannabis Cup.
At least I have a few months to think of something.
I hope that the SVR thugs administering his beatings don't get any of his bodily fluids on the giant fur hat that he's supposed to bring back for me.
That would just be gross.