The HLDW* and I were driving today and the subject of lunch venue was raised.
HLDW, "Let's do Indian food."
Rhino, "Blech. I had my mouth controls set to 'pizza'."
HLDW, "Well, reset them."
Rhino, "I didn't bring any pepto." (Indian food does really, really bad things to Rhino tummys)
HLDW, "I have some in my purse."
Well, at that point I knew that the best option on the decision tree was that of tactical retreat as when it comes to either Thai or Indian food the HLDW is much like the Borg - resistance is futile.
Rhino, "OK, which one do you want to go to - the French Indian one or the Bombay Cafe?"
HLDW, "French Indian? Which one is that?"
OK, I may have been forced to perform a tactical retreat in the face of overwhelming odds but that wasn't going to stop me from getting off a Parthian shot while doing so.
Rhino, (with a barely restrained smirk) "You know the one I'm talking about, the Le Whore Grill." (I am one witty mofo).
HLDW, "If you mean the Lahore Grill then I think we should go to the Bombay Cafe."
Rhino, "Cool, they have the puffy chairs."
HLDW, "That's what you remember about the place? You really focus on the strangest things."
Rhino, "Seating arrangements are a key strategic consideration for those of us classified as 'large and in charge'."
Now I've set the HLDW on the relative merits of seating at the various Indian restaurants...
HLDW, "Are the seats at Lahore uncomforable?"
Rhino, "No, they're fine. But the ones at Bombay are plush and have plenty of elbow room - you know, for when I have to make a mad dash to the buffet and fight those tough old ladies for the last of the nan."
HLDW, "OK, I get it, but please don't say 'you don't get these by petting kitty cats' to anyone in the buffet line this time."
Rhino, "Well, in my defense that lady's walker did bump into me."
HLDW, "Have I told you lately that you are insane?."
Rhino, "I set my watch by your insanity proclamations darlin'."
The eye-roll really was spectacular.
It really is good to be an equestrian archer Rhino - but it is hell on the horses.
*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife
And, yes, it is Parthian shot and not parting shot - read some military history.