Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Rhino Life Advice: Resolutions

As you are well aware The Rhino is a self-effacing kind of, well, Rhino, and far be it for me to offer unsolicited advice. But, the fact of the matter is that some of you need it and since my love for humanity must win out over my humility I will attempt to help you. To that end I will now offer you the benefit of my world view and life experience on a timely subject: Resolutions. Yes, we are going to discuss the capital R kinds that are made every year in a hung over haze on 1 January.
Here is a list of Rhino’s Rules for New Year’s Resolutions:
1. Don’t make them.

2. See rule #1.

Well, that was simple, wasn’t it? My job here is done.

What’s that? I’m not done? I can already hear the bleating. “ But, but, but, but, Rhino, how can you expect me to change things if I don’t make a grand pronouncements and throw every ounce of energy into making those changes?”

My response is, “How has that worked out for you so far?” If you are in the very, very small minority of people for whom that method has worked, hurrah and good for you – you get the gold star. If, on the other hand, you are still paying for hat gym membership that you contractually locked in for the 2-year, iron-clad “New Years VIP Rate” that you have only used once, not to work out of course, but to soak in the hot tub in a lame attempt to leach out the gallons of cheap champagne you drank whilst twisting the night away during the New Year’s Rockin’ Eve telecast. Well, then you might want to consider an alternative.

The first problem with Resolutions is that little s at the end of the word, i.e., it is plural. As in, you are expected to list out everything you want to change about yourself and take immediate action to correct those deficiencies. That’s like saying; I’m going to cut down that forest over there all at once. I’ll take one swing of the ax at each tree, in succession, until I’m done. Get 5 or 6 swings into it and all you’ll have are blistered hands, tired arms, a sore back and all you’ll have to show for your labor are a couple of trees with single cuts in them that will heal over in a couple of weeks.

You really want to change something? Divide and conquer is the key. Instead of the forest just choose one tree. Not the 200 year old oak. Maybe you pick on that 5 year old spruce – been around for awhile but isn’t so thick that you’ll break your back. Now, take a moment and consider your target so that you can devise the most efficient and effective plan of attack. Focus. Whatever you do, don’t go batshit crazy and run in there and start swinging on it with your ax (no matter how good that may feel). Work steadily and take rests when appropriate. Stop to measure your progress. It may take a few hours, maybe a few days, but you will get through that one tree.

In Summary:

1. Pick one thing that you want to do/change.

2. Take some time to understand what is driving that behavior and/or why you want to do the new thing. Ensure that there is a tangible goal.

3. Make a plan.

4. Execute the plan. Slow and steady. Be reasonable.

So, there you go … a valuable life lesson. Unsolicited. And free. And you know the value of something that is both unsolicited and free don't you? You don't? Then let me tell you about these 2-year, VIP rate gym memberships I'm selling.
It is good to be The Rhino ... But I really need to take my own advice sometimes.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous1:13 AM

    I simply follow Rule 1. Its fairly pointless to make them. If something's so much in need of attention then New Years is the wrong, wrong, time to attend to it. Too hungover, more interested in finishing off the last of the Christmas ham and more interested in the cold beer sitting in the fridge and live sport on tv.

    happy New Year to you and your wife, Mr Rhino.



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