There are so many things that chicks don't grok I decided to start making a list. This isn't just about the HLDW.
1. The Three Stooges. Note: any list of things that chicks don't get must start with an obligatory reference to The Three Stooges. That is the law. I can't change it. Nor do I want to.
2. That most meals can be eaten without using a plate or utensils for that matter.
3. That some bowel movements must be described, compared and discussed.
4. The first scratch of the morning is sublime.
5. Smashing the TV remote is, in fact, a very reasonable response to my Steelers losing in the playoffs.
6. Cigars are not cigarettes.
7. Just because I smile and hold the door for you doesn't mean that I'm a sexist pig and/or want to rape you. It just means that my mother raised me right.
8. Calling one's best friend "ass face" or any other pejorative term means the same thing as "I love you".
9. Phone calls can last less than 2 hours. The following can, and often does, constitute my side of a legitimate phone conversation and can convey a tremendous amount of information: "Rhino here" (pause) "Yeah" (pause) "OK" (pause) "Bye".
10.Flipping someone off in traffic is not only justified, but oftentimes necessary in order to teach the other drivers manners.
11. Why yes, I really do think that I'm still 22. Why do you ask?
12. No man EVER wants to be "just friends" with a woman. (I think that one is obligatory too).
13. "Nothing" is a legitimate response to the question, "What are you thinking about?"
What do you have to add?
Don't ask us if we think you are fat. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, Men DO scratch down there. Get used to it.
Ok! Who farted?
Women do not understand why we much happier to cook a BBQ but dread preparing a meal on a stove.
ReplyDeletePhrases you will never hear a woman say " feel my feet they are so toasty" "you have the last peice of chocolate".
I laughed out loud at Number-8.
ReplyDeleteMen also answer "questions" with another "question." You men are very-good-at-it.
(chuckles here).
8,9 and 11 are so true. One more: toilet seats are on a hinge, it IS possible to lower the seat yourself.
ReplyDeleteI got nothing to add. I think you covered about everything with this!
ReplyDeleteGrowing older is inevitable, growing up is avoidable. Good list Rhino.
ReplyDeleteSo true on all counts, but especially 13.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you listen?
ReplyDeleteDon't ask us if we think you are fat. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, Men DO scratch down there. Get used to it.
Ok! Who farted?
I said this.
Your wife..
your companion in life..must be an incredible lady. My hat is off to you..for her to have such forbearance:) (winks)
Farts...Wimmin are driven to insane violence by it, doesn't even have ta smell before their across the room and punching the livin' bejesus out of ya...if I'm lyin' I'm dying!
ReplyDeleteFarts...Wimmin are driven to insane violence by it, doesn't even have ta smell before their across the room and punching the livin' bejesus out of ya...if I'm lyin' I'm dying!
ReplyDelete