There are so many things that chicks don't grok I decided to start making a list. This isn't just about the HLDW.
1. The Three Stooges. Note: any list of things that chicks don't get must start with an obligatory reference to The Three Stooges. That is the law. I can't change it. Nor do I want to.
2. That most meals can be eaten without using a plate or utensils for that matter.
3. That some bowel movements must be described, compared and discussed.
4. The first scratch of the morning is sublime.
5. Smashing the TV remote is, in fact, a very reasonable response to my Steelers losing in the playoffs.
6. Cigars are not cigarettes.
7. Just because I smile and hold the door for you doesn't mean that I'm a sexist pig and/or want to rape you. It just means that my mother raised me right.
8. Calling one's best friend "ass face" or any other pejorative term means the same thing as "I love you".
9. Phone calls can last less than 2 hours. The following can, and often does, constitute my side of a legitimate phone conversation and can convey a tremendous amount of information: "Rhino here" (pause) "Yeah" (pause) "OK" (pause) "Bye".
10.Flipping someone off in traffic is not only justified, but oftentimes necessary in order to teach the other drivers manners.
11. Why yes, I really do think that I'm still 22. Why do you ask?
12. No man EVER wants to be "just friends" with a woman. (I think that one is obligatory too).
13. "Nothing" is a legitimate response to the question, "What are you thinking about?"
What do you have to add?