Oh my ... the HLDW* is flying out tomorrow. She is going to Stowe, Vermont to officiate at the wedding of her best friend from college. She's amazing like that. The downside is that I can't go so I'm going to be on my own for four days.
Did I say downside? Ooops.
Don't get me wrong, I would love to see her being all beautiful (she's wearing Vera Wang <--- that's for all the female readers) and officious and such, and the wedding is being held at a beautiful inn and it should be a great party, but, as a consultant, I only get paid when I bill, and I loves me some revenue stream, so I'm staying home. Alone.
Well, not completely alone. My buddy Steve is going to visit. You remember Steve, right? My brother from another mother, all around great guy, High Times Cannabis Cup judge and manwich. He should keep me from getting into too much mischief while the HLDW is away.
Yeah, this guy:
That was taken during one of our cigar trips to Honduras. And, yes, he is starkers under that raft.
It is also Ellsworth's birthday - one of our buds (mates for the muppet readers) at the cigar shop - and everyone is planning to go out on Friday night to celebrate. Everyone. A lot of guys with money that like to have a good ol' time. There will be many fine cigars and oceans of liquor.
I can already feel the Id pounding at the doors of the mental vault raging to be let out. Free to rampage and pillage. I want to be strong. I do. But the whispering. Yes, the seductive whispering. It is powerful and such forces cannot be kept at bay forever. I am doomed and exultant.
I shall wear a kilt. Yes. That is the perfect attire for a weekend such as this.
All in all this is shaping-up to be the perfect storm of lost weekends.
I hope nobody brings ether. Again. Damn. Will an ether binge show up in piss tests? Just checkin'.
It remains to be seen whether or not it is good to be the bachelor weekend Rhino.
*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife.