Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Addendum: Australia from a Seppo Perspective

For my Aussie mates.

For most people Australia is a land of mystery. A land of men who wear military shorts and like to dick around with live crocodiles. People boxing kangas and eating vegemite and then chunder-ing. Oh, and shrimp. On barbies. Lots of very large shrimp on barbies.

Found this today and I think it pretty well sums up how most people that have never been there envision Oz.

No wonder Havock always wants to cap some muppets.

You are hard, hard people.

Just the kind that the Rhino likes.

Addendum the Second - The lethality of Oz must be in the collective unconscious this week as I found the following on GraphJam this morning:

Addendum the First: While we're on the subject of Oz and her people ... I check out io9 every day for geek stuff and for the last week or so every time I click on a story I see the following in the io9 on Facebook advert:
Of the 57,663 people that like io9 on Facebook I get to see Mr. Barnes looking at me.



  1. Just be aware that map is disinformation ... the dangers are correct just not the locations ;)

  2. I agree with Bangar, Dannii Minogue is from Melbourne and went to the same Primary School as me.

  3. The thing that did my head in when I got here was first sitting on grass. You can't. Within ten minutes something tries to eat you. Then comes the dark. LOTS of thing try to eat you. In the ocean, something will sting you into a state of paralysis and then something will try to eat you. Swimming in rivers will eventually get you eaten. Bush walking will result in you being turned into animal poo after days of some from of torture from some animal and/or environmental cause. Birds try to kill you. Google: Cassowary. Fuck Australia. It's lucky the chicks are hot.

    And yes, I see MR Barnes EVERYWHERE too.

  4. I'm always watching, waiting, prepared.

  5. My house is in the middle of the "N" in Danni Minogue :)

    Also, I think Rhino might also like my standard spiel to American Tourists.

    "I don't know what FKN fairy wonderland you come from, where you can randomly pat wild animals, and expect not to die. Do that here, and the animals will kill you. Not give you a rash or annoy you, they will kill you stone motherless dead. If you see any animals, do not run or panic. Walk calmly away. Find an Australian you trust enough to lend $1000 (we have idiots too), and ask them what to do. The answer is always: just stay away and leave it alone."

  6. PUSSIES they are RHINO..cap the fkrs, I thought the PONDO or the MARSH mighta made it to that map. FKN MUPPETS, another lot that need capping as well I say!.

    Fkn, driving around the range today Skip decides it might be an idea to take on the 4WD I was in...FK FK FK, then I had to put the poor bastard outta his misery, whilst hes trying to FKN BITE ME!..ungrateful fkr he was!

  7. All ... see the second addendum I made ... hilarious that I found it on GraphJam right after reading YsambartCourtin's comment.

    H ... What is "Skip" ... rattlesnake? Rabid Koala?

  8. Skip - is short for "Skippy the bush kangaroo", a seveenties show that was essentially the same format as "Lassie" with a Kangaroo. I.e. Smart cuddly friend saves the kids as they have adventures.

  9. Whoa ... So H gunned down Lassie?!?!?! Wow, that is fuckin' hardcore.

    I admire that.

  10. Uh, Mr Rhino, sir.
    Did H mention a Gun or Shooting?
    I believe he took out Skippy in a much more traditionally Australian (if slightly messier) way.

  11. RODGER THAT NBOB!...three traverses with the DUNLOPS!...

  12. While some people snuggle "safely" in the N bosom of Danni Minogue. I spend my working life (and until recently my social life)somewhere in the west, between scorpions and giant rats. In fact I've found the sharks up here for the most part friendly, in as much as one look at me in a wetsuit and they depart in haste, looking for something less of a mouthfull I suspect. I suspect however this may not apply to all sharks, thus the "most part" comment. There is one animal above all else up this way that is so deadly it will not hesitate to kill itself given half a chance. Occasionally taking some other innocent animal with it. This animal is of course the "tourist".


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