Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Re-Post of "How Much?"

This was one of my very early posts and is one of my faves...

How Much?
posted Sun, 28 Oct 2007 10:27:54 -0700

Actual conversation with HLDW* yesterday afternoon in the car:

HLDW, "I love you very much."

Rhino, "How much?"

HLDW, (surprised that anything but 'I love you too' came out of my mouth) "What?"

Rhino, "How much do you love me? Quantify that statement, please, so I know for certain just how much."

HLDW, (goes for poetic response) "So much that my heart is full for you."

Rhino, "Really? So, what if you have a tiny, stony heart? Then you don't really love me all that much at all, do you?"

HLDW, "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Rhino, "I'm just saying that if you do indeed have a tiny, stony Grinch-like heart that there isn't much room in there for love but, in fact, your real, albeit secret, desire is to steal Christmas."

HLDW, "That's crazy, you are insane."

Rhino, "However, even If you did have a stony heart that'd be alright, cause I could just drag you behind the car through the snow until your heart enlarged"

HLDW, "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Rhino, "You know, at the end of How the Grinch Stole Christmas when he is trying to save his sled, he is pulled through the snow and his heart grows to like 15x it's normal size and he is filled with love. We'll simulate that by dragging you through the snow for a couple of miles. Although, I thought that having an enlarged heart was dangerous - but, hey, I'm not a doctor."

HLDW, (now sucked in by my dementia and fully participating) "This is Atlanta, we don't have snow."

Rhino, "Hmmm, good point. I know, we'll go to Pittsburgh and we see my family. That way we can take care of 2 things at once, see Mum and enlarge your stony excuse for a heart."

HLDW, "BUT I DON'T HAVE A STONY HEART!"

Rhino, "As far as you know, have you ever seen it?." (Staring off into distance) Yeah, it'll be nice to see Mum again. I wonder how much rope I should use?"

HLDW, "Forget I said anything."

Rhino, "You know I really do love you too."

HLDW, "Yeah, I know. And don't even think about trying to drag me behind the car."

Rhino, "But it's for SCIENCE."

HLDW, "No."

Rhino, "Dang."

I love it when I can work the Grinch into a conversation.

R.

*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife

6 comments:

  1. Ha! I don't remember seeing that one the first time.

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  2. My first impression was "very strange foreplay." But then I thought "hey, why not? It probably leads to make-up-sex, which is GREAT!"

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  3. ROFLMAO! From "I love you" to dragging her through the snow. Brilliant.

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  4. Your a lucky man, Rhino.

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  5. You're going to end up being staked out in the back yard one of these days..

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  6. Classic, good! :)

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Comments are welcome. However, being an ass may result in a horrible, albeit accidental, goring.