Sunday, February 08, 2009

Sexy Fun Time

Another Rhino Life Lesson...

If one wakes with morning wood and decides to poke a sleeping HLDW* with it until she awakens and proceeds to ask her, "Do you have some place I can store this?" it will not, I repeat, WILL NOT result in sexy fun time.

Who knew?

I'm a caring and benevolent Rhino and I share this with you to aid you on your path to enlightenment. Some life lessons can be sweet but, as in this instance, they can be painful as well.

And lonely.

Not to mention frustrating.

At least until one takes a shower. A long, long satisfying shower.


*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife


  1. Anonymous7:21 PM

    You could have told me that a few years back, when it would have saved me some pain.
    But I had to work it out all by my self.

  2. AHHHH, but imagine where we would be as a race, had we not persisted, even when failure or Admonishment was almost certain. Failure at some point becomes success, its simply a numbers game. Question is, just how long will one persist.

    To answer that, I have STILL NOT LEARNT MY LESSON.

    PS. Saturday was a Matinee day..OH YES...." BEAUTIFULL"

  3. I think its something we all learn by oursleves. Sure, someone might say they were rejected but all blokes know "That Couldn't Happen To Me".
    Until it does.
    Mr H is right. Persistence can pay off.

  4. Anonymous10:06 PM

    Perhaps, maybe, it was the line, "Do you have some place I can store this," that turned your wife off?

    Just sayin' is all.

    It's been my experience that some women can be a bit quirky on the phrasing of such, um, intimate questions.

  5. You Daft bastard.

    Funny but Daft.

    Everyone knows that after you wake them up by poking them with it you say
    "I have come to clean ze pool"

  6. Anonymous10:45 PM

    Women eh?

  7. As a bachelor I have to take a lot of showers! Howevr, I appreciate your lesson and shall commit it to memory in case I should ever get leg-shackled.

    & LOL at H's Matinee - doesn't the understudy normally get the gig at Matinee performances?

  8. Seems to work in this hemisphere. Maybe just need to work on your intonation or delivery.

    Given his hot water usage I don't want to know what Lermy's power bill looks like. Aren't you lot limited to 170 litres a day or something? I can see the headlines if the dams run dry, and they ain't complimentary.

    And hey, even if you don't get laid 90% of the time you ask, remember you don't get laid 100% of the time you don't ask.

  9. Lerm, thy do, but a Matinee involves serious prep. EG.

    Remove dog from Under bed and put OUT!.

    Close Door, make sure kids are entertained ( easy really they know not to enter if door is shut).

    Turn ON TV in Bedroom.


    and the rest, well.........BEAUTIFUL!

  10. H - I am glad to hear that you shelter your dog! And I'm sure that the TV isn't the only thing turned on!

    Dr Y - the hot water bills are astronomical

  11. There is a Frenchman, an Italian and an Australian stuck on a lifeboat talking about their sex lives.

    The Frenchman says (imagine a zilly French accent at this time):

    "I pour champagne all over my woooman and then lick it off every inch of her body...

    it drives her wild..."

    The Italian says (once again a silly Italian accent):

    "I cover my wife with beautiful feathers and then gently blow them off of her lovely curves...

    it drives her wild..."

    The Australian says:

    'Streuth maaate that's nothing...

    I get home from work, shag the wife and wipe my dick on the curtains...

    drives her wild every time for sure..."

    I don't normally remember jokes but that one always stays in my head?


Comments are welcome. However, being an ass may result in a horrible, albeit accidental, goring.