The Rhino Returns

I've returned from Honduras - mostly intact. It was a great 4 days and there is much to write about. Many cigars were smoked, gallons of rum drunk, and many miles walked by 17 stalwarts of Cigar Camp (The first rule of Cigar Camp is ...). The weather was gorgeous.

As I'm still recovering from my return (which was 17 hours of HELL) today's post will be a few pictures and brief commentary. I'll follow-up with more detail and a lot more pics in the days ahead.


Picture taken outside of the Tegucigalpa airport ... that would be a Pizza Hut A Burger King and a Church's Fried Chicken. Goooooooo Capitalism!


A "Pulperia" or small market on the road side. These things are everywhere. I thought this one looked cool - so there you go.


Kidnappings and such are on the rise in Honduras ... so we had to have an armed guard with us at all times - we named him Senor Pistola. Here he is on the right (on the left is Mike "2-Bell" Patel - no relation to Rocky Patel, our host) - I'll get to why we called him 2-Bell in a future post. In hindsight, I suppose it wasn't the best plan to to ply Senor Pistola with rum. Oh well. More importantly, he stood guard over the cooler on the bus and passed around "cerveza, hace frio, por favor".


We stayed at a different house than the last trip. The accommodations were outstanding. All of the rooms of the house, including the bedrooms, opened directly onto a courtyard that had a pool, cabana thing, an outdoor kitchen, full bar and couple of seating areas with couches and chairs. There was also an indoor kitchen and dining room as well. Above are some of the guys chilling in the bar seating area.


A view of the pool and cabana area.


Guys maxing and relaxing in the cabana.


The fountain area and circular seating ... very relaxing.


We ate well ... above are the kabobs that we had for lunch one day. Pork, beef and chicken. Served with rice & beans, plantains and fresh tortillas. Awesome.


My new bestest friend Senora Cook. We had a thing going on ... OK, so she looks a little afraid of the huge gringo standing over her. But I made her laugh a lot and she kissed me on the cheek before we left.


Hey, I needed to all of those calories ... the dusty boots will testify to that fact after tromping around acres of fields and barns.


Steve and The Rhino in the tobacco fields.


Guys hanging tobacco in the curing barns. I offered to climb up and help ... but they deferred. Don't know why ...


Of course I needed something to get all of that dust from the fields out of my throat ... and here was just the thing: Flor de Cana rum from Nicarauga. So smmmooooooth and just perfect by itself over ice. $5.00 American per bottle.


The aftermath of consuming too much Flor de Cana.


A little slice of heaven. Racks and racks of cigars in the quality control room at the rolling factory.


A picture of my best buds and our host at the rolling factory. From left to right: Mike Beazley, Rocky Patel (our host and owner of Rocky Patel Cigars), The Rhino, Steve Parrish.

Anyway ... please excuse this for being short and sweet tonight.

Even though I ache from head to toe it really is good to be the Rhino.

Off to Honduras

I'm off to Honduras for a long weekend my true and faithful friends and thought I'd leave you with a couple of pics from visits past for you to enjoy while I'm gone.

It won't be all fun and games as I'm nothing but an industrious Rhino (that, for the record, DOES NOT SOOK) and I'm sure that I'll try my hand at rolling cigars once again...

"Ummmm, you do know that my normal consulting rate is $150.00 per hour, right?"


And, of course, I'll be on the lookout for interlopers and other assorted and sundry miscreant types (read: FERALS) trying to sneak onto the compound...

"Did you say your name was Havock? What the hell kinda' name is that and why the hell were you in my humidor?"

But, at the end of the day, I'll probably sit contentedly, sip on a fine beverage, herf a fine stogie and think big thoughts

"Circle of Trust. Yeah, that was a good one. I can't wait till Harry finds out that I've got a TON of pages in the next book. Holy Christ I wish I lived in Australia just to hear his screams. Maybe I should tell him that I've already read the first four chapters. No, that would be cruel. I'll just let him slide for a couple more months. Damn, it really is good to be the Rhino."

New Rhino Icon Photo

Thanks to Drej for the new Rhino icon photo ... totally rocks the chateau. From a comic by name of Primortals.

Totally dig the warrior Rhino look - I wonder if I could pull off the cape?

Dog in Lap

Out and about with the HLDWW* today. While driving home, stopped at a light, I looked over and saw that the driver next to me, a woman, had one of those little yip dogs on her lap. Not only that, she was yakking it up on a cell phone too. WTF?

I pointed this out to the HLDWW so that she could join me in my righteous indignation - this lady was a MENACE of epic proportions and surly anyone could see that. The HLDWW's response? "So what?"

Me, "Huh?"

She gobsmacked me again. I know, I know - My historical inability, many of these failures documented for your amusement, to accurately gauge the HLDWW's response to one of my shattering utterances of the obvious are legend and should not come as a surprise at this point. But, c'mon, this lady was DRIVING with a DOG on HER LAP while TALKING on her CELL PHONE! Surely the HLDWW should get that there is a problem with this.

The conversation continues:

HLDWW, "I said, so what, she has a dog on her lap. It's small and cute and not doing anything."

Rhino, "Honey, it is a living creature and could cause her to lose control."

HLDWW, "And a meteor could strike too. It looks like it's well behaved."

Rhino, "Wha? A meteor? Huh? Anyway, what if it sees a squirrel or something and goes berserk?"

HLDWW, "It's dark, it isn't going to see a squirrel."

Rhino, "It doesn't need to see it, all it takes is one whiff and it could go ballistic. Besides, she is on her cell phone too. Simple math - cell phone plus squirrel scent inflamed dog equals recipe for disaster."

HLDWW, "And you never talk on your cell phone while driving?"

Rhino, "Not with a dog or any other small animal on my lap."

HLDWW, "Why are you getting so worked up about this?"

Rhino, "I wasn't until your reaction to the existence of this potentially man slaughtering sociopath next to us was 'so what'. You really don't have a problem with this?"

HLDWW, "None whatsoever and you really should put your energy into something positive."

By this time we're to the next light and the sociopath pulls to a stop next to us. I look over and give her my best Rhino glower.

HLDWW, "Why do you have to do that? It doesn't do anything regardless of what you think. Besides, she is off the cell phone."

Rhino, "But now shes drinking a soda! Look at the size of that soda that bitch is drinking - she can barely lift it. Christ, she probably needs all of that liquid to keep her throat properly lubricated after her cell phone marathon."

HLDWW, "Did you just call that lady a bitch?"

Rhino, "I was talking about the dog."

HLDWW, "Uh huh."

Rhino, "I'm going to say something to her."

HLDWW, "Oh no you are not. The light is green, go."

Rhino, (quietly) "I hope that she gets into a fender bender and the airbag goes off."

HLDWW, "What did you say?"

Rhino, "I said that I hope that she gets some sense."

HLDWW, "Uh huh."

I chuckled for a few moments thinking of that lady with a mixture of Fluffy the lap dog and Diet Coke splashed all over her.

Irish Pub and Aliens VS Monsters - In 3D!

Just got back from the screening of AvsM and we had a great time. It was in 3D!!! The quality of the 3D was simply amazing. I haven't seen a 3D movie in years and I have to tell you that the quality was simply incredible. If they can do this with live action movies then the whole ball game with respect to the movie experience has gone through the stratosphere.

The even better part of today was that the HLDWW received an additional assignment yesterday. She had to meet with the owner of a local Irish pub to do a Q&A to be run in the March 15th edition in time for St. Pats. She scheduled it so that she could meet with the guy and then we could leave there and go straight to the movie. SWEET. She did the interview while I sat on the patio (It is back to Atlanta weather here - 65F, sunny today) sipped a Guiness, ate some great food, read a book and smoked a petite stogie. The pub grub was excellent as the owner happens to be a fine dining chef who got out of that biz in order to open a pub and his philosiphy is that you can serve good food, high in quality at a reasonable price. Even nicer, when he found out that I was the HLDWW's hubby he comped my check.

When we arrived at the theater we met the publicist - a nice bouncy young thing - and she escorted us to our reserved seats - middle row, halfway up, perfect - which was pretty sweet as the theater was almost full when we walked in. The seats had this sign taped to them:

It really is the little things that make me happy. She fetched the 3D glasses for us and made sure that we had everything we needed. When we sat down a guy sitting behind us leaned over and asked if we had some part in making the movie or something (because of the reserved sign). Very funny.

Neat experience - this was more than just a press event as the majority of people there were families with young children. Before the movie started the Paramount security guy advised everyone to turn off any cell or electronic device as they were filming the audience in night vision and any light source would be considered an attempt to pirate the flick. I've read that they do the night vision filming of the audience to measure reaction - which would explain all of the families as it would be at the center of the intended demographic of the flick.

Fun story. A good time was had by all. Even the HLDWW liked it which was a surprise.

All in all it was a pretty good day. I could learn to enjoy riding the HLDWW's coat tails.

No gift bags though. But I'll suffer in silence I think.

It is good to be comped and reserved Rhino.

Monsters VS Aliens - EDIT - New Question at End of Post

Guess who gets to go to the advance VIP/Press screening of the upcoming animated flick Monsters VS Alien with the newly minted Hippie Liberal Douche Writer Wife?

Yeah, that'd be me.

The wife got the assignment today from her editor - the regular movie guy can't make it. However, this screening isn't for reviewers and an email from the publicist was blunt about that fact. Rather, it is prep for the journo types to do a follow-on "phoner" interview with one of the actors. The publicist contacted the HLDWW today and presented her with a list of 3 actors and she had to prioritize the list from first to last as to who she would prefer to interview.

The list (in no particular order):
1. Seth Rogan
2. Stephen Colbert
3. Will Arnett

So, the question is ... what would be your order and why?

What is so funny is that when I saw the trailer for this I totally geeked-out ... and the wife was stone cold ... she just doesn't do animation. I fully expected that I would have to wait for it to be released on DVD. She is totally relying on me to point out pertinent geek stuff to her and help her with questions - heh heh heh.

This so makes up for the damned handbags.

I wonder if there will be cocktails? Or gift bags?

It is cool to be the VIP film viewing Rhino.

EDIT: OK, the consensus in the comments is that the HLDWW should request Mr. Rogan - Which is what I suggested as well. So, the next question is: What do you think she should ask him during the interview? I'll share all of the answers with her.

Global Warming in Atlanta - March 1, 2009

Woke up to a beautiful March 1st morning - embraced by the warmth of the effects of global warming.

A picture from the front porch of Chateau Rhino:

This. Is. Not. Good.

IT IS SNOWING!

IN ATLANTA!

ON MARCH 1ST!

WHAT THE HELL!

From the camera in my phone ... but you can see the accumulation and the snow coming down. This is crazy - it should NOT be snowing in Atlanta at all, let alone in March. Last time we had snow in Atlanta was January 2008.

Good thing I didn't stow this bad boy:

That, my friends, is a commercial grade propane heater. It keeps the Rhino toasty warm during his morning tea and cigar. And, yes, I really do wake up every day and take my tea on the front porch along with a cigar. Every day. Crappy pic that does not do it justice ... chalk it up to me using the phone because I'm too lazy to fish out the digital cam.

And before you eco-fascists get out of hand in the comments, I was being facetious about the global warming thing ... yes, I know that global warming is not just about rising temps and is also about disruptions in weather patterns that may cause unseasonable cold, blah, blah, blah, etc. So keep your pie holes sealed with your self-righteous global warming rants. I don't wanna' hear it from you, I've got the HLDW for that.

I don't wanna' be the Snow Rhino.

I wanna' be the On the Mexican Beach Rhino