Here is a link to the HLDWW's review.
Bask in her journalistic glory here: http://www.thesundaypaper.com/More/Archives/tabid/98/articleType/ArticleView/articleId/3723/Goody-bag.aspx
Rhino
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
HLDW Upgrade
Effective immediately the HLDW* has been upgraded and will now be known as the HLDWW - Hippie Liberal Douche Writer Wife.
A couple of months ago the HLDWW decided that she wanted to begin a freelance writing career. One small stumbling block was that she has no experience in the field whatsoever. Undeterred, she did some research and decided that the quickest way to achieve her goal of amassing some 'clips' (samples of published works - the street cred of freelancers) would be to do an unpaid internship somewhere. So, in her HLDWW single-minded manner she contacted the Editor in Chief of one of the local alternative weeklies, The Sunday Paper (www.sundaypaper.com) and secured a meeting. She met with him and asked for a shot at an internship. Unfortunately, he didn't have any space for additional interns but, after looking at some of her grad work papers, he did say that he would be willing to mentor her. He asked her to pitch some story ideas in the Arts arena (they don't have anyone on staff doing that beat right now) and if he liked any of the ideas he would take a look at what she wrote and possibly use it.
A couple of weeks ago she pitched a story about an exhibit set to open at the Museum of Design Atlanta. He liked the idea and advised her to write a review and if they had room in an upcoming issue they might use some quotes. Faint encouragement to be sure - but the HLDWW wanted to prove herself - so we (Yes, WE - it was painful and is worth another blog entry on its own - let's just say Rhino and frou frou gallery openings don't mix) attended the Press & VIP only opening for the exhibit and she wrote a review of 400 odd words (again, a painful process worthy of a separate blog entry) and submitted it.
She thought that was the end of things but then - GOOD NEWS - The Editor read it and liked it so much that he wanted her to beef it up to the 600 word range so that they could include it in the February 21st edition.
I'm so proud of her - her first at bat and she knocks it out of the park. She kicks ass and the world should know. As soon as the review appears online I'll post a link.
It is good to be the supportive spouse Rhino.
Regards,
Rhino
*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife
A couple of months ago the HLDWW decided that she wanted to begin a freelance writing career. One small stumbling block was that she has no experience in the field whatsoever. Undeterred, she did some research and decided that the quickest way to achieve her goal of amassing some 'clips' (samples of published works - the street cred of freelancers) would be to do an unpaid internship somewhere. So, in her HLDWW single-minded manner she contacted the Editor in Chief of one of the local alternative weeklies, The Sunday Paper (www.sundaypaper.com) and secured a meeting. She met with him and asked for a shot at an internship. Unfortunately, he didn't have any space for additional interns but, after looking at some of her grad work papers, he did say that he would be willing to mentor her. He asked her to pitch some story ideas in the Arts arena (they don't have anyone on staff doing that beat right now) and if he liked any of the ideas he would take a look at what she wrote and possibly use it.
A couple of weeks ago she pitched a story about an exhibit set to open at the Museum of Design Atlanta. He liked the idea and advised her to write a review and if they had room in an upcoming issue they might use some quotes. Faint encouragement to be sure - but the HLDWW wanted to prove herself - so we (Yes, WE - it was painful and is worth another blog entry on its own - let's just say Rhino and frou frou gallery openings don't mix) attended the Press & VIP only opening for the exhibit and she wrote a review of 400 odd words (again, a painful process worthy of a separate blog entry) and submitted it.
She thought that was the end of things but then - GOOD NEWS - The Editor read it and liked it so much that he wanted her to beef it up to the 600 word range so that they could include it in the February 21st edition.
I'm so proud of her - her first at bat and she knocks it out of the park. She kicks ass and the world should know. As soon as the review appears online I'll post a link.
It is good to be the supportive spouse Rhino.
Regards,
Rhino
*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife
Monday, February 16, 2009
Devious HLDW
The HLDW* is a devious, conniving wench.
February, 17th is The Rhino's date of birth and is generally celebrated by the masses as an all around day of mirth and merriment. However, this year, for many reasons, I advised the HLDW that I wanted to go low key this time around. No gatherings of any sort, no surprises because she thought that I "didn't really mean it about low-key", etc.
I should have realized that my wishes would go unheeded.
Monday is the day that I go to the cigar shop to play dominoes. Every Monday - hence the reason that we refer to it as Domino Monday at Chateau Rhino. The first clue that I should have known that something was up when I received a call from Red, the cigar shop proprietor, in the early afternoon, "Hey, where are you? We're about to put Gran Torino in." Red gets copies of screeners so we generally have many of the new releases, albeit with the "for your consideration" caption at the bottom, to watch in comfort with good cigars. Red is a buddy and we talk on the phone occasionally but only for man-appropriate topics - he has never called to advise that the movie is about to start. So, I get to the cigar shop and he asks if I want to watch the animation Justice League, The New Frontier before Gran Torino. NOW ALARM BELLS ARE GOING OFF. Red generally does NOT indulge geek stuff and is fundamentally opposed to showing "cartoons" at the shop. But, I'm any easy going Rhino and go with the flow and enjoy the movie. Oh, I forgot to mention that my buddy Steve was there and he just happened to have stocked the fridge with Guinness and INSISTED that I join him in drinking a few.
So, at the end of the movie my buddy Steve gets a call, hangs up and asks if someone can help him get something. I offer but he tells me to stay put - he has some help. Five minutes later Steve comes in, escorted by the HLDW. In her arms are a very large bottle of Bombay Sapphire and bottles of tonic. In Steve's arms are several boxes of pizza from my favorite take out joint. The HLDW decided that she needed to supply us with a little pizza party a day before my b-day.
What an amazing woman I married. She called everyone over the weekend and arranged everything.
Everyone sings Happy Birthday - with much gusto and very off key. I then eat, drink and am the recipient of many fine cigars. Someone said that all of the guys coming up to me and giving me cigars was reminiscent of that scene in "A Beautiful Mind" where they walk up to the table and place their pens on John Nash's table. Wonderful.
After the shop closed we repaired to the bar for more drinks, cigars and laughs.
I have just made it home and am a very tipsy Rhino (so forgive any typos or incoherence) - much, much gin and Guinness were imbibed - but I felt that I needed to get this down immediately because that chick I sleep with is so fucking awesome.
Did I mention that I married an amazing woman?
It really is good to be a 46 year old Rhino.
Regards,
Rhino
*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife
February, 17th is The Rhino's date of birth and is generally celebrated by the masses as an all around day of mirth and merriment. However, this year, for many reasons, I advised the HLDW that I wanted to go low key this time around. No gatherings of any sort, no surprises because she thought that I "didn't really mean it about low-key", etc.
I should have realized that my wishes would go unheeded.
Monday is the day that I go to the cigar shop to play dominoes. Every Monday - hence the reason that we refer to it as Domino Monday at Chateau Rhino. The first clue that I should have known that something was up when I received a call from Red, the cigar shop proprietor, in the early afternoon, "Hey, where are you? We're about to put Gran Torino in." Red gets copies of screeners so we generally have many of the new releases, albeit with the "for your consideration" caption at the bottom, to watch in comfort with good cigars. Red is a buddy and we talk on the phone occasionally but only for man-appropriate topics - he has never called to advise that the movie is about to start. So, I get to the cigar shop and he asks if I want to watch the animation Justice League, The New Frontier before Gran Torino. NOW ALARM BELLS ARE GOING OFF. Red generally does NOT indulge geek stuff and is fundamentally opposed to showing "cartoons" at the shop. But, I'm any easy going Rhino and go with the flow and enjoy the movie. Oh, I forgot to mention that my buddy Steve was there and he just happened to have stocked the fridge with Guinness and INSISTED that I join him in drinking a few.
So, at the end of the movie my buddy Steve gets a call, hangs up and asks if someone can help him get something. I offer but he tells me to stay put - he has some help. Five minutes later Steve comes in, escorted by the HLDW. In her arms are a very large bottle of Bombay Sapphire and bottles of tonic. In Steve's arms are several boxes of pizza from my favorite take out joint. The HLDW decided that she needed to supply us with a little pizza party a day before my b-day.
What an amazing woman I married. She called everyone over the weekend and arranged everything.
Everyone sings Happy Birthday - with much gusto and very off key. I then eat, drink and am the recipient of many fine cigars. Someone said that all of the guys coming up to me and giving me cigars was reminiscent of that scene in "A Beautiful Mind" where they walk up to the table and place their pens on John Nash's table. Wonderful.
After the shop closed we repaired to the bar for more drinks, cigars and laughs.
I have just made it home and am a very tipsy Rhino (so forgive any typos or incoherence) - much, much gin and Guinness were imbibed - but I felt that I needed to get this down immediately because that chick I sleep with is so fucking awesome.
Did I mention that I married an amazing woman?
It really is good to be a 46 year old Rhino.
Regards,
Rhino
*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Another significant difference between men and women that I have recently had the opportunity to observe up close and personal is the process whereby each gender goes about resolving friendship issues.
As I am a process-geek Rhino I've decided to capture the process steps for your edification.
MALE process steps for resolving friendship issues:
Process Duration - 5 minutes
1. Man tells friend that he is acting like a total dick-head and he needs to stop or a can of whoop ass will be opened.
2. Friend replies that he didn't realize that he was acting like a dick-head and said behavior will cease and desist immediately.
3. Fists are bumped. Beer is quaffed. Equilibrium is restored.
END PROCESS
FEMALE process steps for resolving friendship issues:
Process Duration: 90 - 120 Days
1. Discuss with several girlfriends, in excruciating detail, the emotional distress associated with needing to end possibly, maybe a friendship with someone because you don't agree with their behavior, morals, they are a bitch, etc., etc.
2. Discuss with their husband, in excruciating detail, the emotional distress associated with needing to end, possibly, maybe, a friendship with someone because you don't agree with their behavior, morals, they are a bitch, etc., etc.
3. In order to justify the decision the woman now lists all of the good things and bad things about the person to see if the bad outweighs the good - even if the bad is so bad that you couldn't possibly like yourself if you had to be around it and no amount of good could possibly absolve it. Share this list with the husband and review each and every item on the list ad nauseum, sometimes acting as devil's advocate, to make sure that all list items have been sufficiently discussed.
4. Decides to end the friendship but take no action for a couple of weeks while rehashing steps 1, 2 and 3 to see if there is any way to salvage the relationship or to see if the other person's disagreeable behavior might magically abate thereby making the need to take action moot.
5. Ignore husband's advice to just have a conversation with the soon to be ex-friend and just get it over with.
6. Consult your friend the psychic to see if there is anything in the soon to be ex-friend's aura or past life that could be causing the current issues. Rehash conversation, at length, with husband.
7. Make the decision to end the friendship. Now that decision to break-off the friendship has been reached it is now time to obsess about the possibly hurt feelings of the soon to be ex-friend. Discuss pending guilty feelings incessantly with husband.
8. Get past the obsession about the soon to be ex-friend's feelings and obsess about possible retribution that the ex-friend might exact - however faint and implausible the hypothetical retribution may be. Discuss fears incessantly with husband.
9. Letting the fear of possible retribution keep you from taking action you once again seek out the advice of the psychic friend. On the advice of said psychic friend, you write the name of the soon to be ex-friend on a sheet of paper and place it in the freezer so as to metaphysically freeze them out with the intent that this "spell work" will cause the soon to be ex-friend to gradually fade, painlessly, away.
10. Over a period of weeks politely decline invitations from the soon to be ex-friend but still have hour(s) long conversations and/or exchange multiple text messages daily.
11. Gradually shorten conversations and then stop returning calls/messages and ignore texts.
12. After a couple of weeks of silence advise the husband that the "spell work" of freezing the name was successful and that the friendship has been ended successfully and painlessly. Do not acknowledge that the passive-aggressive act of reducing contact over time had any effect on the outcome.
END PROCESS
Please note that you did not see the acronym HLDW* anywhere in the above.
Did you?
Didn't think so.
The Rhino's objective and scientific conclusion: Bitches be crazy.
Regards,
Rhino
*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife
As I am a process-geek Rhino I've decided to capture the process steps for your edification.
MALE process steps for resolving friendship issues:
Process Duration - 5 minutes
1. Man tells friend that he is acting like a total dick-head and he needs to stop or a can of whoop ass will be opened.
2. Friend replies that he didn't realize that he was acting like a dick-head and said behavior will cease and desist immediately.
3. Fists are bumped. Beer is quaffed. Equilibrium is restored.
END PROCESS
FEMALE process steps for resolving friendship issues:
Process Duration: 90 - 120 Days
1. Discuss with several girlfriends, in excruciating detail, the emotional distress associated with needing to end possibly, maybe a friendship with someone because you don't agree with their behavior, morals, they are a bitch, etc., etc.
2. Discuss with their husband, in excruciating detail, the emotional distress associated with needing to end, possibly, maybe, a friendship with someone because you don't agree with their behavior, morals, they are a bitch, etc., etc.
3. In order to justify the decision the woman now lists all of the good things and bad things about the person to see if the bad outweighs the good - even if the bad is so bad that you couldn't possibly like yourself if you had to be around it and no amount of good could possibly absolve it. Share this list with the husband and review each and every item on the list ad nauseum, sometimes acting as devil's advocate, to make sure that all list items have been sufficiently discussed.
4. Decides to end the friendship but take no action for a couple of weeks while rehashing steps 1, 2 and 3 to see if there is any way to salvage the relationship or to see if the other person's disagreeable behavior might magically abate thereby making the need to take action moot.
5. Ignore husband's advice to just have a conversation with the soon to be ex-friend and just get it over with.
6. Consult your friend the psychic to see if there is anything in the soon to be ex-friend's aura or past life that could be causing the current issues. Rehash conversation, at length, with husband.
7. Make the decision to end the friendship. Now that decision to break-off the friendship has been reached it is now time to obsess about the possibly hurt feelings of the soon to be ex-friend. Discuss pending guilty feelings incessantly with husband.
8. Get past the obsession about the soon to be ex-friend's feelings and obsess about possible retribution that the ex-friend might exact - however faint and implausible the hypothetical retribution may be. Discuss fears incessantly with husband.
9. Letting the fear of possible retribution keep you from taking action you once again seek out the advice of the psychic friend. On the advice of said psychic friend, you write the name of the soon to be ex-friend on a sheet of paper and place it in the freezer so as to metaphysically freeze them out with the intent that this "spell work" will cause the soon to be ex-friend to gradually fade, painlessly, away.
10. Over a period of weeks politely decline invitations from the soon to be ex-friend but still have hour(s) long conversations and/or exchange multiple text messages daily.
11. Gradually shorten conversations and then stop returning calls/messages and ignore texts.
12. After a couple of weeks of silence advise the husband that the "spell work" of freezing the name was successful and that the friendship has been ended successfully and painlessly. Do not acknowledge that the passive-aggressive act of reducing contact over time had any effect on the outcome.
END PROCESS
Please note that you did not see the acronym HLDW* anywhere in the above.
Did you?
Didn't think so.
The Rhino's objective and scientific conclusion: Bitches be crazy.
Regards,
Rhino
*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Sexy Fun Time
Another Rhino Life Lesson...
If one wakes with morning wood and decides to poke a sleeping HLDW* with it until she awakens and proceeds to ask her, "Do you have some place I can store this?" it will not, I repeat, WILL NOT result in sexy fun time.
Who knew?
I'm a caring and benevolent Rhino and I share this with you to aid you on your path to enlightenment. Some life lessons can be sweet but, as in this instance, they can be painful as well.
And lonely.
Not to mention frustrating.
At least until one takes a shower. A long, long satisfying shower.
Regards,
Rhino
*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife
If one wakes with morning wood and decides to poke a sleeping HLDW* with it until she awakens and proceeds to ask her, "Do you have some place I can store this?" it will not, I repeat, WILL NOT result in sexy fun time.
Who knew?
I'm a caring and benevolent Rhino and I share this with you to aid you on your path to enlightenment. Some life lessons can be sweet but, as in this instance, they can be painful as well.
And lonely.
Not to mention frustrating.
At least until one takes a shower. A long, long satisfying shower.
Regards,
Rhino
*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Bacon Explosion Recipe from Chef Larry
OK, I know that there are versions of this floating around but this is the version that "chef buddy Larry" used for the Super Bowl party.
Did I mention that the Steelers won by the way?
OK, here it tis:
Did I mention that the Steelers won by the way?
OK, here it tis:
BACON EXPLOSION
INGREDIENTS
2 lbs bacon
2 lbs Italian sausage, bulk
1lb cheese, cheddar
BBQ sauce
BBq dry rub spice mix
Layout half the bacon on a sheet of plastic wrap and weave into a lattice design
Cover with BBQ spice rub
Layer sausage on bacon and press out to side in and even layer
Cook the other half of bacon to crisp and crumble
Layer crumbled bacon on sausage layer
Cover that with the cheese
Carefully roll up the sausage layer tightly and pinch close the ends
Roll the lattice bacon layer to close the roll
Use the plastic wrap to help
You can cover with the plastic wrap until ready to cook
When ready to cook coat the lattice layer with the BBQ rub
YOU CAN NOW SMOKE THE LOG OR BAKE IN A ROASTING PAN IN THE OVEN
In the oven roast low and slow , 350 degrees for about 1.5 – 2 hours or until the middle reads 155 on a meat thermometer
For the last 10 minutes of cooking brush with BBQ sauce to get a nice glossy coat on the lattice bacon cover.
Let rest , slice and enjoy on your favorite biscuit or bun
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Steelers Win and Bacon Explosion - What a Night!
Quick post ... just back from the Super Bowl Party. Great night as the Steelers picked-up their sixth championship trophy! Great game - nail biter to the end.
For our Aussie friends ... the Arizona Cardinals kicker was the very first Australian to play in a Super Bowl.
Great food at my chef buddy's house ... amongst the gastronomical delights was Bacon Explosion! It is 2 pounds of bacon woven into a "blanket". Then sausage, cheese and caramelized onions are spread on the bacon, it is rolled and dry rubbed with BBQ seasoning then baked.
Two words: FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!
Here's some pictures:
Another view:
Take the delicious slices and put them on a hard roll and there you go. Brought some leftovers home for a midnight snack.
Bacon munched.
Beer swilled.
Steelers win.
Yep, all in all, it is good to be the Rhino.
Regards,
Rhino
For our Aussie friends ... the Arizona Cardinals kicker was the very first Australian to play in a Super Bowl.
Great food at my chef buddy's house ... amongst the gastronomical delights was Bacon Explosion! It is 2 pounds of bacon woven into a "blanket". Then sausage, cheese and caramelized onions are spread on the bacon, it is rolled and dry rubbed with BBQ seasoning then baked.
Two words: FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!
Here's some pictures:
Another view:
Take the delicious slices and put them on a hard roll and there you go. Brought some leftovers home for a midnight snack.
Bacon munched.
Beer swilled.
Steelers win.
Yep, all in all, it is good to be the Rhino.
Regards,
Rhino
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