A Perfect Storm of Douchiness

Went downtown this afternoon to grab some lunch with the HLDW. We are working through a list of restaurants featured in an Atlanta magazine article entitled Cheap Eats. The destination today was a really quirky Thai restaurant located in a douchy rich neighborhood by name of Virginia Highlands. Virginia Highlands is an upscale hipsters delight - lots of shops, restaurants, the obligatory used book store and coffee shop, lots of really old, huge houses on tree lined streets, etc. In all honesty, it really is a nice place ... and I do LOVE the Paolo's Gelato, but it just feels like it is just trying too hard, very smug, know what I mean?

Anyway, on the way, stopped at a traffic signal, we encountered a Perfect Storm of Upper Middle Class Douchiness on display. I whipped out the cell phone to capture this:

We've got a lot of things going on here - so wonderful:
1. The wondrous liberal douche bumper sticker with the word 'coexist' spelled using religious symbols.
2. The "I Belong in the Zoo" Atlanta Zoo patron bumper sticker. Hey Douche, the chimpanzees just called and they said that if they ever actually see your pretentious ass at the zoo they are saving a special pile of poo to fling at you.
3. The little white sticker to the left of the license plate is a bragging sticker that they have the disposable income to send their spawn to a private school.
4. But the topper that clinches their douche master status has to be the licesnse plate itself:

LTLFEAT

Are you kidding me?

I wanted to follow this twit just to see what kind of aging hippie, LSD besotted bag of damaged DNA would emerge but my hunger for Thai noodles won out and I turned.

Note on the Thai restaurant. It is literally a one man operation - he seats you, is the waiter and bartender and does all of the cooking. Read several reviews and the food is supposed to be awesome - but every one of the reviews also cautioned that you shouldn't be in a hurry if you go. We called ahead to make sure they were going to be open. When we got there I scored a parking place on the street in front - sweet. The restaurant/house is really rundown and is decorated (and I use the word loosely) in a rather eclectic, funky style. If you walked by you would probably keep going and not even realize that it is a restaurant. The walkway to the front door is covered by a trellis and you can see the front patio - lots of tables, greenery, looks cool - and the front windows of the place are wide open and more resemble an open veranda than anything else. We can hear a TV blaring over the bar in the front area and see tables. There are a couple of signs that say "Come In - We're Open" displayed. So, we walk up to the door ... it isn't really a door ... rather it is a door sized wire gate. I yank on the gate and, surprise, it is chained and padlocked closed. Then I realize what was bothering me as we were walking up ... no customers on the patio and none inside that I could see. No one at all. Weird. I knock on the gate and give a half-hearted 'hello is anyone there?". No response. Repeat knock/hello combo but a little louder this time. Still no response.

Maybe there is another entrance? Do a recon around the building - nope. Back at the gate. Whip out the cell phone and call the restaurant. I can hear the phone ringing in the restaruant. It rings and rings and rings. No answer. What the hell? I just called 30 minutes earlier and they said that they would be open until midnight. The 'open' signs are posted. The tables on the patio are set with utensils and glasses.

WTF? Does this mean that there will be NO THAI NOODLES FOR THE RHINO!?!?!?!

Time to regroup. Thankfully, I'm in an upscale douch-nozzle neighborhood and there are a veritable plethora of restaurants in walking distance (I AM NOT going to give up that sweet parking space). We walk up the street and find another Thai joint - nice place, good food but will definitely NOT be featured in a future cheap eats article.

Afterwards we repaired to Paolo's Gelato. The HLDW* made a typical HLDW choice - a scoop of rosemary gelato and a scoop of hazelnut gelato. In the same cup. Talk about war on the taste buds. I had the zabaglione (banana) and tartufo (chocolate rum).

Life was good again.

It is good to be the Thai noodle eatin', gelato licking Rhino on a warm Sunday afternoon.

The Company Tag Line

The tag line for the company we're forming:

In the Ruthless Pursuit of Excellence.

Thoughts?

Too corporate B.S.?

I liked the use of the word 'ruthless'.

Burgers at The Vortex

Took the HLDW* to one of the best burger 'n beer spots in Atlanta for lunch yesterday - The Vortex (Link here: http://www.thevortexbarandgrill.com/).

This joint is located in a neighborhood known as Little Five Points - the obligatory urban bohemian area that any large city supports. You know the type; populated by the strung-out, the tattooed and pierced and the generally disaffected youth and burnt out aging hippies. Of course, since this is the Deep South, you need to throw in a freshly scrubbed fundamentalist Christian standing on the corner and wearing a pressed white shirt and tie, screaming the "WORD OF GOD" at the top of his lungs in an effort to "SAVE" the aforementioned strung-out, tattooed, etc. Essentially, this is a petting zoo for the HLDW and she loves it. For me it is a land of situational awareness overload, constant proximity alerts and strained neck muscles from scanning for targets. However, I am a man who loves his charred cow flesh so I wade into this human microcosm of hepatitis-C and herpes donors on occasion to partake of the burger glory that is The Vortex.

Props to the HLDW* as she loves this joint as much as I do as they have a veggie burger alternative. I know, I know Bedak and BarnesM - the very idea of something called a veggie burger is an oxymoron and a perversion before the eyes of God. But, it gets me a pass into joints like this so I'm just grateful and look the other way whenever she orders.

The burgers are hand formed patties grilled-up short order style and dressed in a variety of ways with good stuff. One of my favorites is the Coronary Bypass which has 3 slices of cheese, 4 slices of bacon and a fried egg. There are very few things in life that cannot be improved by the addition of a fried egg. I have never had the testicular fortitude to order the Double Coronary, which, as you might guess, doubles the ingredients of the Coronary Bypass. The twist, however, is that the 2 burger patties, several slices of cheese and bacon and 2 fried eggs are sandwiched between 2 grilled cheese sandwiches in lieu of the standard hamburger bun. OK, I've wanted to try it but the laser like glare from the HLDW anytime my eyes stray to that part of the menu is truly something to behold. The awesomeness of the Vortex experience is ratcheted-up as one of the choices of side items is TATER TOTS! They do their tots well here - they come to the table hot and crispy - I've never had a soggy tot in The Vortex.

Which brings us to the point of this particular missive. There is one item on the burger menu that is such an unusually off-putting amalgamation of sweet and savory ingredients that I've been reticent to try it. It is a play on the gastronomical proclivities of a Southern icon ... The Elvis Burger. Elvis, as is widely known, was fond of fried Fluffer Nutter sandwiches - a combo of peanut butter, banana and marshmallow creme grilled together.

The Elvis Burger is essentially a bacon cheeseburger that has a healthy portion of smooth peanut butter and fried banana slices added to it. Strange combo but I steeled my nerve and decided to just go for it. The burger was daunting in its sheer size as the banana slices were rather large and stacked so it was a challenge for the mighty jaws of The Rhino to engulf it for a bite. But, in true Rhino fashion, I persevered and was rewarded with an explosion of flavors - balanced savory and sweet. The peanut butter was set against the smokiness of the bacon and the bananas were not overly sweet (something that I feared going in) and they added a nice touch of creaminess - the creaminess offset the lack any other condiment. All in all I was pleasantly surprised. The Elvis Burger is a winner.

When trying something new the final question I ask myself is, "Would I eat it again?" and the verdict this time is yes indeed, I would.

A fine lunch was had by all.

It is good to be the gastronomically adventurous Rhino.

Well, at least this time.

Regards,
Rhino

*Hippie Liberal Douche Wife

Quick Update

Has it really been 20 days since I last posted?

Job is going well. Getting the kinks out with respect to the challenges presented by the span of time zones. Getting up early but still not being able to fall asleep until later in the evening (bad habit) had me zombified for the first 2 weeks. However, that is what one would describe as 'high class pain'.

The consultancy is moving forward. We have achieved several milestones: naming the company, obtaining web domain (no website yet), registering for tax ID, Dunn's number, etc. We are moving full steam ahead and the goal is to have a revenue stream going within the next few months so that I don't need to sweat when my current contract is completed at the end of the year. I can't go into any detail as of yet but we believe that we will have the ability to tap into a VERY lucrative revenue stream.

Also, I've got another extremely cool thing going on that must stay under wraps for the time being as well.

Well, I really didn't tell you (in the words of an Irish co-worker) "Feck All" in this update other than I'm settling back into work life and I'm working on stuff that will obviate my need to rely on "The Man" for my living in the future.

If ever I need to keep in mind that it is good to be The Rhino it is now.

Rhino Signs on the Dotted Line

Well, your ever lovin' Rhino is rejoining the ranks of the gainfully employed beginning 5/5 - I met with a guy today and signed a contract through 12/31/09 - so that will give me 8 months of serious cash flow while my partners and I ramp up our consultancy here. The gig is with a software company and I'll be managing the monthly release (yes, I said monthly, which is insane - just ask Orin) of enhancements for the application installed at their largest customer. I'm led to understand that the process is chaos personified and that they need a strong horn, errr hand, to take the reins on both sides of the equation.

Amazing what one can do in this information age ... This gig is for an Irish sofware company and their HQ in Wicklow, Ireland. The U.S. office of the company is in San Francisco. My boss is based in London. The application development team is in Sri Lanka. Their client is in Miami. Fortunately, I'll have to do ZERO travel. I'll work very closely with all of these people for the next eight months and, most likely, I'll never meet any of them face to face.

I was contacted for the gig, out of the blue, a couple of days ago by a guy I hired and mentored at a start-up 7 years ago - he lives in Atlanta and now works for this company as a road warrior. I spoke to the London guy yesterday morning (smart and funny) and he liked me, of course, as I am funny and smart, so instead of them just emailing the contract to me my old protege and I took the opportunity to meet for coffee and to play catch-up. My little project manager is all grown up now - I'm so proud. Actually, it really is great to see someone that I've had an impact on, a positive one in this case, grow up to be successful. To be completely candid (and fair), in my early days I was a complete and utter shark and left a little more than my fair share of destroyed careers in my wake. The sick part is that I don't regret one.

I'll work out of my home office. Official uniform of the day will be boxer shorts and t-shirt. My secondary office will be, of course, the cigar shop. I'll have to sacrifice and put on a pair of shorts when working there. Shoes will be optional at either location.

I need to go out tomorrow to buy my Skype headset and credits. Should probably review business etiquette for Sri Lanka as well.

I have a feeling that my life just got very interesting ... especially when I start doing the time zone shuffle.

Thanks for all of the support you freaks.